Curate Contemplations

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Reimagine

As a young person, I spent huge amounts of time imagining the future.Who I would marry.What kind of mark I would leave on the world.There was always an abundance of possibility waiting out there in the land of wondering.There is a particular kind of romanticism and low-grade adrenaline that comes when you begin constructing a future in your mind. Then before you know it … it begins, one by one, you find yourself stepping into moments you had only ever visited in your imagination: flatting...

The Shadow Side of 'Nice'

For most of my life, I have moved through the world from a posture of pleasantness. My disposition was one in which my determination and desire were for you to always leave an interaction with me feeling good about yourself.I learned early that a key social currency was politeness, and in each new interaction, payment was due.Now, don’t get me wrong, I was a willing participant, weaving just the right words to warrant a winsome, warm win between us. The gravitational pull to be liked was immen...

The Reward of Repair

This past week, I let my wife down.She was really hurt, and there were a few tender days to follow.It sucks when you see your person in pain.And trying to restore connection isn’t always simple. It can feel complex, at times layered, with diverse dynamics at play.That “space” after a fracture or fight is familiar to anyone in a close relationship.These are some observations about what helps connection return.Hurt is inevitable in close relationships, yet it’s important to remember that t...